It's July. That means the tour is on. That's a good thing. I read this piece on watching the tour de france a few days ago, which does a good job of explaining the tour's appeal to those who might not get it. Bonus points for referencing Tim Krabbé's The Rider.

I have faint memories of watching the occassional stage in the late nineties. And a vivid memory of being on holiday, somewhere not too far from Toulouse, in the early naughts^[1] and not being allowed to head to the next town to watch it roll through^[2]. It wasn't until 2014 that I saw it in-person as the peloton whizzed along Lower Thames St. Some years it has slipped by without my noticing. Usually, however, I have diligently tuned in to the highlights on ITV every evening, or followed it live, sentence-by-sentence, via letour.fr; a small, just big enough, window at the bottom of my screen.

I don't pay too much attention to professional cycling the rest of year. Sometimes I remember to tune in to the world championships (esp. the track cycling), or bits of the Giro. Maybe Strade Bianche. But the tour is a must.

Here is a love letter to le tour a poorly structured dump of just-about-cobbled^[3]-together thoughts on the majesty of the tour, and why I love following it during what is often the best weather of year, when I should really be outside on a bike myself.

# things i love

# the effort

I thoroughly enjoy watching riders try really hard. The last ditch effort from a destined-to-fail breakaway; riders time-trailling themseleves into the ground; attacking only to end up going backwards. Whether it ends in glory or failure, all I see is a triumphant display of human performance - real mind over body stuff at times.

# the scenery

France is lovely, but you knew that already. Gorges, forests, mountains. Mwah. There's a good mastodon account, Geology of the Tour de France, that added some proper historical context to the terrain, although they seem a bit quiet this year. The view is even sweeter when, and it only happens very occassionally, I am able to recognise that I've ridden that stretch of road^[4]. And I especially love the enormous efforts a village will go to—drawing a 50 m wide just about barely accurate depiction of a bicycle out of hay bales with a fleet of tractors for wheels—for ~5 seconds of tv coverage.

# the tactics

Riding on the front until failure, for the sake of the leader; cooperation between breakaway riders, or refusing to work, because they need to exhaust the others should it come to a sprint; trusting the rubber more than is sane and attacking on a descent; "letting" the breakaway go; blocking the road; stealing points; Frenchmen from different teams working together on Bastille Day. The utter selflessness of a good domestique.

# the drama

This is mostly covered by the effort and the tactics. However, the will-he-won't-he of a perfectly paced time-trial from an underdog, or the cracking of a favourite. A poorly timed mechanical followed by, a lightning fast wheel change^[5]; a too-tall domestique donating their bike; a fan willing to push; or an age at the roadside without assistance. Drama, also known as, Thibaut Pinot.

# the stats

There are plenty of statistics. Cycling lends itself nicely to measurement, and well, I like that a lot. I suppose I also like the hard-to-quantify will-to-win.

# the duration

It's three weeks and thousands of km. It's okay if you forget to watch it for a few days, because there's still ages to go until Paris. And, it's long enough to really start to feel invested in it—long enough that that rider might get another chance to snatch back some time.

# the weather

Specifically, cross winds. A real peloton-splitter doesn't happen often, but, when it does it is a treat. In recent years it's mostly been needing-ice-down-the-back-of-the-jersey hot. And if it is chucking it down, well, on they go. Unless of course, there's a landslide. Rough luck for some.

# the personalities, sportsmanship & cameraderie

I don't have much to say here, but, it's quite sweet watching a farmer's son balling his eyes out after unexpectedly winning the opening time-trial and taking yellow. Waiting for a rival to dust himself off after a crash; a pat on the back to the rider who just won; sharing a water bottle with a breakaway mate who dropped theirs; riders at the back having a chat. Geraint Thomas' post-stage interviews.

# the history

There's lots of it. Passion and controversy, glory and tragedy. It's just a bike race, but it's given the world so much more than a bike race.

# being a neutral

I don't really care who wins, I just like watching a good race with a fierce competition for the 3rd step on the podium and a relative nobody holding on to the polkda dots for first two weeks.

# things i don't like

Unfortunately, there are things that I don't like. Others may adore these. That's okay.

# unruly fans

Get out of the road. Stop running alongside. Put your flag away. Put your phone away. More barriers please.

# TV ad-breaks

Yes, I understand that that's the price of the free coverage I'm about to loose, but still, I hate adverts.

# sprint stages

The 173 km before the final 10 km can, sometimes, be rather dull. I suppose I do quite like that the riders have that power over the broadcasters, and that if there is a collective agreement to having a mellow few hours they can fall behind the schedule.

# crashes

An unfortunate part of bike racing. A lapse of concentration, an errant bee, a greasy corner, an idiotic spectator, a bad decision made in the maelstrom of a bunch sprint - all capable of ruining a rider's season, or career. And that sucks. I don't like seeing someone snap a collar-bones and break half a dozen ribs, because the rider in front was trying to avoid crashing into the rider in front of them. I'm glad concussion protocols are now stronger, even if it means not seeing the Hour record holder blast their way around a TT. A small positive to take from crashes, is seeing riders demonstrate commendable levels of commitment^[6] by just getting back on.

# spoilers

Accidently reading a headline before you watched the highlights. And having to avoid the news altogether if you're a few days behind.

# rest days

Sure, they deserve them. But what about me? What am I supposed to do?

# misc. other things i don't like

• The silly sunglasses
• Modern-day aero helmets
• Bike-swaps in time-trials. Nope. Pick a bike, and stick with it
• Pogačar's dominance. Sometimes I feel as though he has other riders under a spell of supremacy which lulls them into accepting their place behind him. No point in attacking as he'll just counter twice as hard. No point trying to outsprint him^[7]. Better to just let him win.^[8]
• ITV losing the rights to broadcast it. I am disappointed that this is the last year that it'll be possible to watch it free in the UK. I will miss the theme tune, and Ned Boulting, Gary Imlach, David Millar and Chirs Boardman. They've been great, and in my opinion are far better than the alternatives. Considering the number of brits riding is at an all-time high, 11 starters this year^[9], it's surprising and a shame.

# a cheery end

• [video] Frank van den Broek holding off the peloton for Romain Bardet
• [video] Vingegaard in yellow cruising to the end of a TT, for the sake of Wout van Aert
• [video] Richard Carapaz sharing a stage with Michał Kwiatkowski.

# advice

go watch it.

# footnotes